Steven Shore hates me.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s what I thought as a Bard College freshman in his Photography 101 class, while I argued about why I had not done the assignment as directed: uncropped, unmanipulated, and uncontrived.<\/p>\n
Looking back, I have no doubt that he found me annoying and forgettable. Freshman year, I was deeply committed to Dadaism, The Ramones, and my newly acquired black leather jacket. In my spare time, I was reading Man Ray\u2019s autobiography. Steven, also newly arrived at Bard, had a different perspective. \u201cHe deliberately oriented the program toward straight photography at a time when most teachers were emphasizing manipulated and constructed photography,\u201d according to a curator\u2019s note at his sweeping MoMA retrospective.<\/p>\n
When I ran into him at a recent alumni event Steven, not surprisingly, didn\u2019t remember me.<\/p>\n
When I first met him, I had no idea who he was either. I didn\u2019t know that as a 16-years-old, he\u2019d been an unofficial photographer-in-residence at Andy Warhol\u2019s Factory. I had no idea he was the first living photographer to have a solo show at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. And I certainly didn\u2019t know that according to MoMA he was: \u201cOne of the most significant photographers of our time\u2026who rose to prominence in the 1970s by capturing the mundane aspects of American popular culture in straightforward, unglamorous images.\u201d<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t even realize that his photographic style would deeply influence what my generation framed and put on our walls as art.<\/p>\n
But the thing that would have surprised my 17-year-old self the most was how much Steven would teach me that first year at Bard.<\/p>\n
The First Thing I learned from Steven\u2019s class was that I\u2019m not a photographer.<\/p>\n
This had nothing to do with whether he liked me or not. It\u2019s a fact. And was confirmed years later during a photojournalism class in grad school. I\u2019m not saying I can\u2019t take a decent snapshot. I can. Steven probably deserves some credit for that skill.<\/p>\n
As much as I had fantasized about clicking the shutter and flipping my hair while I crouched for the perfect shot, I was never comfortable behind the lens. I\u2019m completely at a loss when photographers tell me that having a camera makes them feel comfortable in a crowd. Instead of anonymous or purposeful, I feel intrusive obvious, and exposed.<\/p>\n
I loved the idea of being a photographer, but I didn\u2019t love the process.<\/p>\n
The Second Thing I learned was how to talk about art.<\/p>\n
Every week, we\u2019d put our work up on the wall for the class and Steven to critique. I gouged lines into the wooden table with my nails, as it was explained to me that the blown-out areas of my photos were not aesthetic choices or happy accidents, but due to poor exposure.<\/p>\n
As uncomfortable as I was in that room, it was where I began learning a vocabulary for visual work. Over the years, I\u2019ve put this vocabulary to good use. Now I write about art, design, and film. Also collaborating with photographers has turned out to be a rewarding part of my career.<\/p>\n
The Third Thing I learned was that when you\u2019re truly passionate about something you fight for it.<\/p>\n
If in my heart and soul photography was THE thing I loved, I wouldn\u2019t have walked away at the end of freshman year. I would have stayed in that department and fought for my aesthetic or found another college where they were still teaching \u201cmanipulated and constructed photography.\u201d Instead, I transferred to the Women\u2019s Studies department. Where I did dig my heels in and fight for my point of view, concluding with my senior thesis, \u201cWomen in Bondage: A Social History of Undergarments 1850-1950.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Fourth Thing I learned was to set challenges for myself, rather than relying on repeating a successful, comfortable formula.<\/p>\n
Years after college when I was writing for a daily, Steven popped into my mind just as I realized that all my articles ended with the same type of pithy quote. During interviews, I\u2019d gotten into the habit of circling that quote, so I knew where I was writing to. It wasn\u2019t a bad formula. It worked. My editor liked it. My readers liked it. But I knew using that formula over and over would never make me a better writer.<\/p>\n
Recently, I heard Steven talking about why he\u2019d left the Factory. He only spent a few years hanging out with Any Warhol, Eddie Sedgwick, Lou Reed, and the rest. Most 18-year-old guys would have stuck around. \u201cFor a lot of people being at the Factory was going to be the high point of their lives. I didn\u2019t want it to be the high point of mine.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Fifth, and most important, Thing I learned from Steven is that just because someone disagrees with you, it doesn\u2019t mean they hate you. It means, they don\u2019t agree with you \u2013 and they might be right.<\/p>\n